Disrupting the gender binary: Barbara J. King on gender fluidity and queer rights

In this August 2020 essay, Barbara J. King, a biological anthropologist and professor emerita at the College of William and Mary, shares the story of her child Sarah, who is nonbinary and agender. King pulls from her perspective as both a biological anthropologist and a mother to explore the cultural and linguistic resistance to nonbinary gender identity and presentation.

Barbara J. King, "My Nonbinary Child," Sapiens, 21 August 2020

 

1. One of the “standard views” that King responds to, both in her work as an educator and as a mother, is the binary idea of gender. Explain this “binary view of gender,” which King references in her essay. What understanding of gender does King offer instead? Identify another concept or issue that is often thought about in binary terms. How can that binary be disrupted to allow for greater nuance and complexity?
   
2. King argues that “the multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern nor exclusively Western.” What does she mean by this? Look up one of the examples she gives in paragraph 12 to support your explanation.
3. King weaves together the personal and professional in this essay, centering her story on her child yet bringing in academic research to support her argument. Identify where she uses a quote to bring a source into the conversation, a method discussed in Chapter 3. What strategies does she use to blend her words with the words of the person she is quoting? Why do you think she keeps these quotes relatively short? What effect do these short quotes have on the tone of her argument?
4. One issue King discusses is misgendering people by using the wrong pronouns. How do she and her husband handle this issue with their child Sarah? What responses have King and Sarah received from friends and family? While King argues for Sarah’s right to choose their own pronouns, others, like Abigail C. Saguy and Juliet A. Williams, have gone a step further and argued that everyone should use they/them pronouns. Read their 2019 essay, and then respond to their argument by using one of the templates from Chapter 4.

Comments

[Jose Ortega]

wow is a theme that has undergone development since the beginning of humanity, however each step in time has made us sensitive and accessible to understand the diversity that exists in the world. I think that from the moment that two people come together to reproduce there must be a mental amplitude to assimilate what this fact is. aware that we are responsible, that we are going to transmit to our children about others, because if we touch on the subject of rejection towards someone non-binary we fall into discrimination. so we must start by accepting ...

[Jose Ortega]

if their innate gender identity may be different. Gender binary therefore focuses primarily on one's innate identity irrespective of their anatomical features, then parents and non-binary children should focus on what internal identity their children bring, that they know to communicate and manage with their anatomy.

[Danielle Black]

1.) A better understanding of gender that King offers in her article, explains that gender in itself is non-binary. Gender is however you feel and think of yourself in your mind and not the biological sex you are born as or your body parts. The sooner we as a society accept this fact for what it is, the sooner we can have more clarification for humans who identify as non-binary and make the discussion of non-binary person's more acceptable in today's society.
2.) King's argument that states, "-the multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern, nor exclusively western", means that our ideas and social construct surrounding the idea that you are only allowed to identify as a "boy' or a "girl" is only a false sense of reality, that we as a society have created to keep people from stepping outside of a "comfort box" that society expects of humans. When you step outside of that box, society sometimes doesn't know what to do with you or where to put you on a gender level, simply because our ideas of gender are extremely limited.
3.) King's article includes her own personal experience with her daughter experiencing feelings of not fitting in anywhere on the very limited gender spectrum, while also adding in professional research to back her argument. One quote that king mentioned in her article that stood out to me was when her daughter asked her a simple question, which I feel sparked King's passion for writing about this specific topic regarding her daughter. That quote is "Mom, how do you know you're a woman?" This quote is a personal question that King's daughter asked her, which then required an answer coming from King herself. How do you know that you're a woman? It is an important question to ask when discussing or reading about this particular topic. I think that this quote being relatively short, but powerful, leaves us as readers to ask ourselves the same or a similar question. How exactly do you know that you are a certain gender or supposed to be or act a certain way just by the biological parts you are born with? It is important that we as readers ask ourselves the same question to help understand the article on a personal level.
4.) An easy way that King suggests to help non-binary persons like her daughter feel more accepted in society is simply asking the questions that you want to know about that person respectfully and openly. If you aren't sure of ones preferred pronouns, it is okay to ask. King mentions that asking these questions should be more socially acceptable on the daily basis in society. If you don't feel comfortable asking a person what their preferred pronouns are, you can always refer to that person by their name or by using they/them, as it is not gender specific and can refer to one single person and not just a group.

[Jalynn Hawkins]

1. King spoke on the binary view that there is either male or female. She then explained that nonbinary means that you could at times identify as male, female or nothing at all. This would open the door to the concept that there can be numerous gender identities.
2. Different cultures in the past have referenced to different gender identities. For example, the Native Americans called the two-spirit expressed a nonbinary identity or sexuality.
3. King quoted a biological anthropologist Molly Bearman. She stated that nonbinary groups "disrupt the idea that human bodies must be male or female" and "force a spectrum approach to traditional sex classifications." This quote helps her set up the argument how the binary view restricts us in our thinking of only two options.
4. King and her husband correct each other when they say the wrong pronoun usage by raising their hands instead of verbally saying something. Their family and friends have had a hard time adjusting to the pronoun usage and have caused some hurt feelings. Though there is one member trying to work on this. The 2019 essay
had lots of good points in their argument. In fact, it can be beneficial for women and not just nonbinary people using them/them as pronouns.

[lyss loredo]

- gender does not exist on a binary. there are so many different ways to identify, and to simplify it down to two options is absolutely asinine. King offers the idea that there is more than those two options and opens the class for discussion on those facts.

When King states that gender is neither modern nor western, it was stating that nonbinary gender has existed long before the "trend" as people call it; that it is a part of history in India, Native people, and many other cultures.

In the quotes that are used by King in this article, there is not too much detail that is gone into, seeing as there is not the entire quote from the colleague mentioned. She only uses part of the quote to extract key information and speaking points from the discussion.

Sara and her husband handle breaking the habit of misgendering their child simply by raising their hand when the other misspeaks. Their friends have not all been receptive to embracing Saras new public identity, but are willing to put fourth the effort.
i dont believe that everyone should use gender neutral pronouns. As someone who identifies as nonbinary and uses they / them pronouns, it is trans erasure in my opinion for cisgendered people to attempt to "normalize" they/ them pronouns. Cisgender people commonly overstep boundaries and speak over trans folks and it is unfair and incredibly disrespectful of cis people to the silence voices of the marginalized community.

[Maxwell f McLaughlin]

I feel most of the time when you discuss gender fluidity people don't feel comfortable discussing it and I think it's unfortunate that sex isn't taught more in school and discussed so it's more understood. I feel like if gender and genderfluidity were discussed then it would be much more widely accepted and understood. When I was younger I could always tell that my sibling, matt had a different personality than what their gender norms would imply they act like. I've seen adversity that my sibling has faced from people who simply don't understand their ideals.

[Adrianna Hogan]

1. Barbara J. King explains how gender is nonbinary. There are more ways to identify ourselves than male or female. The sooner society accepts that, the easier the topic will be in conversation.

2. Past cultures have practiced nonbinary expressions. King states The Native American groups labeled these gender identities two-spirit, meaning expression of nonbinary identity and sexuality.

3. King uses professional facts and quotes to back up her piece of writing, but keeps the main focus on her daughter. She is using these pieces of information to back up what she believes and explains what other people have gone through with the same experience as her daughter. Whenever King talked about past cultures practicing these expressions, she kept the explanation short and to the point so it didn't take the focus off her daughter.

4. When King and her husband are talking to or about Sarah and they use the wrong pronoun, the other with raise their hand to let them know they used the wrong wording instead of verbally interrupting. Their family had a negative reaction to Sarah's choice. There were hurt feelings from Sarah and her mother and the other family members. They were not respecting what Sarah wanted and it was causing conflict. The 2019 had a lot of helpful information in it. If you're unsure about someone and you don't feel comfortable to ask, you can refer to that person as they/them or by their name until you get some type of clarification. It's important to respect other peoples preferred pronouns because you wouldn't want to get mislabeled.

[Roland McCormack]

Barbara J. King describes in her story how there are many different ways to define yourself as other than male and female, and how gender is nonbinary. Barbara also noted how native Americans treated gender separately when it comes to identity and sexuality. King also used facts and quotes from many different professionals to back up her point, while also keeping the main focus on her daughter. She uses the information and sources to explain the way her daughter, and others felt and experienced. King also talked about how she and her husband talked to their daughter, and how they corrected themselves during conversations, and the negative effects they had when they called her by the wrong pronoun, and how people should respect other's pronouns.

[Issabella Elliott]

In “my nonbinary child” by Barbra King she tells us about how her daughter, Sarah, had come out as agender or non-binary. She tells us how her daughter has chosen the pronouns they/their because they are nonbinary. She also goes on to talk about how she would teach classes and try to get cis people to understand, that it is a hard concept to grasp. I completely agree with this part, it is a huge concept to grasp when someone was not raised with these views and it can be challenging to break using gender pronouns as she had said. Sarah has experience family members telling them to change her appearance to match her pronouns because they couldn’t’ grasp it and to make it easier for them. Which I say is crazy you should not have to change anything about yourself to please anyone.

[James Eng]

1) King interpreted that this "binary view" of gender is how someone views a person mostly as either male or female. King introduced the idea of the importance in the fact that Gender itself is non-binary. Gender is how you think of yourself and how you truly feel about who you are. King then explains that "gender identities are recognized as healthy, a matter of self-determination" explaining that you should see someone for who they are and the importance of being yourself.
2) What King means by this is that multiple gender identities in society isn't something new or exclusive to where it seems most common now. She follows by mentioning the ancient drawings in Ecuador displaying something of non binary gender identities among societing, or how research showed Native Americans and hiras in India showed this way of who they are in society.

[Chris Moachangoye]

1. The way Barbara J. king is explaining binary, is that a singular gender does not exist you can identify as a female, male or neither. This information is what helps with the idea that there can be multiple gender identities.

2. King talks about nonbinary existing in past native American cultures. This just shows how this isn't a new phenom, but something our modern culture is having a hard time grasping.

3. Barbara J. King used quotes from Molly Bearman. To try and help back up her main point which is her daughter.

4. King and her husband did something as simple as raising their hands to correct each other when they use the wrong pronouns. Members of their family and friends have a hard time trying to adjust to the pronoun usage.There is also a member of king social group whose adjusting. This article had some amazing information. It helped me with not labeling a person with the wrong pronoun, and to communicate with a person on which pronoun they feel comfortable being used on them.

[Sam Key]

1. King explained that you can identify as male, female, or both.

2.The multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern nor exclusively Western is a statement that nonbinary has been apart of history, especially in natives.

3.King quoted Molly Bearman an anthropologist in order to back up her main point about her daughter.

4.Sara and her husband raise their hand when one or the other misuses pronouns.

[Phillip Smith]

1. Barbara J. King makes mention of the idea that gender is binary. Obviously, this is a commonly made error, misconstruing and oversimplifying sex and . Gender identity is simply how one feels, and can't be limited to male and female.
2. King provides examples of cultures that don't limit themselves to a binary set of genders. The Hijras, for example, are transgender people in india that consider themselves separate from male and female.
4. When Kings daughter first informed her of their non-binary status, transitioning to Sarah's preferred pronouns didn't come naturally at first. It required a change in speaking habits. A method they used to improve after any mistakes was to raise their hand to inform each other when caught using an incorrect pronoun.

[Kacee Blair]

I don't want to come off as rude or simple-minded but I believe there are only two genders and should only be two. If a human is born a gender then they should be that gender, they shouldn't be able to change or say they are something they are not. If a boy is born with male reproductive organs than he is a boy. The same goes for girls. If you are born with the reproductive organs of a female human, then you are a girl. I don't believe that people can change their gender. You are what you are, you can't change it. I understand that sometimes people feel uncomfortable with themselves but, they shouldn't go around saying they are a female if they have male genitals. I also don't understand how a human can be non-binary or have no gender. As a human, you have to be born with some kind of reproductive organ. That is why humans exists, to reproduce, if you "don't have a gender" how are you considered a human? You have to be able to reproduce and to do that you have to be either a male or female, there is no in-between or switching sides whenever you feel like it.

[Alexander TC]

Gender has been a quite flexible thing in both the recent past and in the current day is also once against becoming something that is also beyond. The regular binary, which king helps describe in male and females terms. Gender, she elaborates, is a very complex subject that deals more with your internal view of yourself than anything external or biological. King goes on the elaborate how gender has been seen not only as a cultural aspect but also how types of people can completely undermine the binary by being genderfluid or non-binary. In today's modern world these issues relating to nonbinary people have only really recently been brought to light and been viewed in the public conscious however it has had a very visible impact especially with people now listing their preferred pronouns on this such as email and social media especially.

[sarah shockley]

1. the gender binary that barbara j king refers to is the belief that humans must be male or female. She instead offers that a person's physical appearance may not correlate with their gender identity. she speaks about disrupting the gender binary and something quite simple we can all do to help is stop enforcing harmful gender roles and expectations. at the moment, there is pushback against the trans community or those who are gender non conforming, like a classmate on this very forum who commented something truthfully very disgusting and transphobic. had these gender norms not been enforced on her throughout her life, she too would be creating a world that is more accepting of people who do not identify with their birth sex.
2. king brings up the fact that the concept of gender non conformity is not exclusively western to counter a misconception that this is something new, or even a political agenda. king uses examples from other cultures to prove that there is an observable history of people who do not identify as male or female. In the country of ecuador, archaeologists have found small figurines of humans without any exclusively male or female characteristics, which point to a more than 2500 year old understanding of genders other than male or female.
3. king uses quotes directly from her daughter intertwined with her own personal research on gender identity. "i can't identify a single thing that makes me a woman. i feel nothing at all." she uses these short quotes from her daughter to insert the feelings of the personal connection to the topic of gender identity and expression and explain her support and provide evidence as to the validity of her daughter's identity and feelings.
4. to help better adjust their speaking patterns to accommodate sarah's preferred pronouns, Barbara and her husband have a system of raising their hand in the air when the other makes a mistake while speaking about or to sarah. i believe that referring to anyone, if unsure of their gender identity, using they/them pronouns can greatly improve the normalization of respecting a person's gender identity and avoiding language that may misgender someone.

[Nyla Lanier]

The binary view that king refers in her essay is that it is only right that we are defined as male or female. Not doing this disrupts the idea of human bodies. King argues that "the multiplicity of gender identities is neither modern nor exclusively western". She simply means that gender identities are practiced everywhere especially in many cultures. It was also embraced thousands of years ago in the study of ancient figurines. King and her husband had a hard time using the correct pronouns whenever they spoke to or about their daughter Sarah. They eventually both put together a system to help each other improve their mistakes by raising their hands in the air after each mistake they make. King and Sarah also received comments from their friends and family on how Sarah came out as agender. They feel that she is going through a phase and that she will eventually get over it. At the end of the day, everyone is in control of their own lives and how they choose to live it whether a person likes it not.

[Clayton Cunagin]

Very few of us are fortunate enough to get to study humanity like an anthropologist does. Barbara King was so fortunate and has some interesting points to make on gender identity. She says that the multiplicity of gender is not something that we are facing just now but rather something we have seen all over the world such as the Hijra in India. King also has an interesting perspective on the use of pronouns. With the use of something as easy as a hand gesture when a pronoun was misused with their child, they were able to create a safe space for their child while also helping each other learn the correct use of the pronouns as not to be rude or disrespectful.

[Anthony Vicario]

When King mentions the “multiplicity of gender identities” she is referring to the idea that gender identities outside of the socially accepted man or woman is not a recent development or a view only carried by Western civilization. She mentions hijras in India as an example. Hijras are people of a “third” gender community. There are about 500 thousand hijras living in India. The hijras include people who were assigned male at birth who can have various body modifications like breast implants. It can also include members who are intersex or transgender women. Hindu mythology defies them and they are seen by many as demigoddesses. In India, not only is the idea of a “third” gender identity accepted but also meeting a member of this community and receiving a gift of coin and rice is seen as a favorable sign.

[Alyria Taylor]

I loved how Barbara J. King had her article written. King mentions in her story how gender is nonbinary. She also mentions how there are many different ways that you can define yourself as other male and female. She even uses some sources to support her point and explains the way others have felt from her lifetime experience. I love how she even includes the show "Pose" in her article because I found the show to be highly supportive towards those who need help with becoming transformative. This show even made me want to bring out my physical characteristics and inner desires as well. I learned that In India, hijras do not fit into a binary view of gender. Meaning in India, Hindu mythology often defies them as demigoddesses.

[Lana Lopes]

eeee

[Lana Lopes]

sorry everyone, my posting is messed up and did not post the correct way and had erased all of my work. I have to type again.

[Lana Lopes]

1. The binary view of gender is and has been for a long time viewed as 'female' and 'male'. Distinguished by genitalia parts. This has been seen as the standard view. In Barbara King's article she talks about how different understandings of binary identity and goes into the topic of non-binary. Non-binary is a spectrum of different varieties that are more than just 'male' and 'female'. They differ in many different way. King explains that her daughter came out to her as non binary and then King went into further exploration on this subject and discovered a wider variety of non-binary identities.

2.King says that varieties of gender identities are not just modern or western. King has discovered in her research other cultures who embrace non-binary gender identities. An example of this is when King described a Native American group that celebrates and accepts non binary genders. They would call this ' two spirit'. They also celebrate in India they call the non binary groups ' hijras' which means they don't fit into the standard binary gender.

3. King turns her daughters personal testimony into a study and a learning experience not only for her, but for the readers and to educate us to understand the stance on non binary gender identity and explains what it means and how there are so many different ways to identify other than just male and female. It all started with a question from her daughter which was ' Mom, how do you know if your a woman'? After that question was asked King goes into her personal feelings on what her daughter has told her and tries to make sense of it and then she finds herself educating herself on the topic of non binary gender identity.

4.King discusses issues when it comes to people approaching non binary genders with the wrong pro nouns. In the article King and her husband had some solutions on how to approach non binary gender people correctly and respectfully if you do not know the correct pronouns. They suggested calling people what they wanted to be called, however a lot of people are uneducated when it comes to this sp King suggested approaching them by their name. King feels this should be accepted on a open everyday basis in society. This shows acceptance and respect to the non binary gender identity persons. If you dont feel comfortable asking a person what their pronouns are you can approach persons by saying the words 'them', or 'they'.Saying these words means that they are non gender specific.

[Carlos Chacon]

First of all I would like to say that Barbara J. King is extremely brave for sharing her daughter's story. King's daughter Sarah born female reveals that their is non-binary and agender at the age of 26 meaning neither male of female. Sarah’s pronouns are they/them/theirs. King discussed that using the wrong pronouns when referring to someone is wrong. To avoid this she and husband have a system where they raise their hand to correct each other without having to verbally speak about it. I find this really smart that way it doesn't make Sarah feel uncomfortable and it shows how important it is to them to refer to Sarah properly. Sarah’s understanding of their gender came with some backlash from friends and family members mostly disagreeing with their gender choice, saying that their confusing people because Sarah was born a girl therefore that makes them a girl. The binary view of gender that King refers to in her essay is that one is either a male or female and nothing else but to King her view on gender is that you can be either male, female or not have a specific gender.

[Drake Sizemore]

Sarah who was born a female then reveled at 26 she is not binary and agender. This means she is neither male or female and uses the pronouns they/them/theirs. Her mother Barbara talks about not wanting to use the wrong pronouns so her and her husband made a system. The system is when if one of them uses the wrong pronouns instead of stopping the conversation and making it obvious and potentially making Sarah unformattable they just raise there hand to correct one other.