Walk Down the Aisle, Top Shelf on Your Left: DePaulo on Weddings and Advertising

“We’ll be right back after these weddings, er, messages, from our sponsors.” Have you ever noticed that love and marriage-related themes appear in commercials for tires or cat food, or other seemingly mundane items? Bella DePaulo has, and posits a theory as to why. A professor of psychology and blogger, DePaulo has studied and written extensively about various aspects of single life. She is the principal contributor to the website Single at Heart, where this article appeared in March 2012.

Read it here: DePaulo, "Why Are Advertisers So Stunningly Unoriginal”

 

1. DePaulo argues that the ubiquity of marriage–related themes in popular culture reveals an underlying insecurity about the value of marriage. What evidence does she present in  support of her conclusion? Do you agree? Why or why not?
2. While DePaulo focuses on advertising in particular, she mentions other media—television programs, popular books, and magazine articles—and criticizes them for their triteness and lack of imagination. How might she respond to Steven Johnson’s argument that “tv makes you smarter,” in Chapter 15 of your text? How might Johnson respond to DePaulo’s argument? Provide examples from each reading to support your conclusions.
3. Leaf through your local Sunday newspaper and monitor a few hours of commercial-laden television. How many of the ads and commercials touch on themes of weddings, marriage, or romance? Of the ones you find, how many are for products or services that have reasonable connections to these themes, such as jewelers or caterers? Does this exercise replicate DePaulo’s observations? Were you surprised by anything you observed? Explain your reactions to the exercise.
4. You surely have reactions to and ideas about the advertising that bombards you throughout any given day. Choose one commercial (or print advertisement) that you enjoy, and one that annoys you or makes you cringe. Write an essay that describes the two advertisements and explains your reaction to them. Use DePaulo as a “they say” that you support or reject in your own argument.

 

Comments

[Blake Lanser]

Blake Lanser -
1. The evidence that DePaulo presents is evident and in my opinion correct. The first ad that is presented is for jewelry, highlighting, of course, a wedding ring; stating “the moment she’s been waiting for all her life.” DePaulo points out a valid point, this is not really the only moment she has been waiting for. There is no way, in my opinion that this is the the only thing that any women has been waiting more. Graduating from higher education, getting a job, the list can go on and on for what is actually what a person has been waiting for. The final point of this argument is stating that it is to early to be the peak moment of a women’s life.

[Blake Lanser]

Blake Lanser -
3. Well from turning on my TV, I discovered one wedding ad over the course of two hours, on 4 different channels. The one ad that appeared was from a jewelry company talking about how your special day should be complete with the perfect ring. This exercise, in a way, does repeat her process. I did have limited control and variable groups, but in the sense, there are way to many ads that have nothing to do with their underlying theme. I was surprised how the only wedding commercial I saw was 15 seconds. It allowed us to implicate a theme, and leave us hanging wanting to explore or pondering up the outcome a little more in our mind. I believe that that is the main point of advertising. As an advertising major, I do understand how ads try to play the emotional card, and still leave you wanting to know more.

[Blake Lanser]

Blake Lanser -
4. I would have to say that the ad that pleases me the most is the little pig flying down the zip-line with his pinwheels. Not only does it peak our interest, but is has absolutely nothing to do with the product that they are advertising. If my mind is correct, this ad belongs to an insurance company. The little pig is just having fun, but he doesn’t need to be the new poster child for insurance. Not only does it not peak my interest to buy insurance, it makes me want to go down a zip-line, waving my pinwheels and screaming my fool head off. But in the ‘law of advertising’ this ad has done it’s job. It has indeed made us want to know more, but not in the sense of the correct question. DePaulo’s point about advertisers becoming lazy is correct. They are looking for popular trends and are not trying to step outside the box, although I have yet to find out how zip-lining and pinwheeling are popular.
The ad that annoys me to death is the Gieco lizard commercials. Who cares if a random lizard has his own float. I want to know what your company is going to do for me and how you are actually going to save me money. If it only took 15 minutes to save 15%, I would gladly give 100 minutes to save 100%, but we all know that is not how it works. The lizard does give us a moment of interest, but it eventually fades into darkness as we realize, “this has nothing to do with what I actually want.” If I could change that commercial in any way, it would be the lizard leaving, and a spokesperson coming out telling us how to save, in real life examples, not floats that do not look like our selves.

[Blake Lanser]

Blake Lanser -
3. Johnson does make some good and educated points. There are periods in television programs where the average reader does indeed learn something. Although during a commercial, different areas of the brain may and most likely are engaged. Most commercials appeal to our pleasure centers. Something that we like to hear, see, or explaining our favorite food. Television shows appeal in a similar way, but often appeal to the areas of our brain where we store information. Johnson would more than likely say that all the ads serve purpose and are indeed making us smarter, but DePaulo would disagree stating that unless the advertisement directly relates to the subject matter, we are not really learning anything. I would have to agree the DePaulo.

[Alejandra B.Martinez]

I do not agree with Bella DePaulo. I do not think that most commercials have a wedding theme to them. I have seen some commercials that have that theme but, counting on fifteen minutes of commercials, only one out of fifteen had a wedding theme. Two out of fifteen commercials had a theme that was close to that but, those two commercials were not necessarily wedding themed, they represented a relationship. One was a couple talking about the car they bought, the other one was a couple eating chips, not weddings. I believe that if there is something these commercials are trying to sell to the public, they are trying to sell the idea of a happy family, which is different from a wedding. When DePaulo states that, “Wedding themes dominate because we are so insecure about the status of marriage. It is as if we are trying to persuade ourselves that marriage really is this utterly amazing thing…” I feel that DePaulo has the wrong idea about marriage in the commercials and in our culture. It is possible that our culture has held marriage in high regards but, I do not think it is due to our insecurities about the status of marriage. I believe marriage can still be “this utterly amazing thing for some people. If marriage is been sold to our culture we would have to look back at our childhood and re-watch all the fairytales we watched then. Marriage has been sold to us since we were children, not just recently through commercials. I think it is pretty normal that jewelry stores advertise their engagement rings with a wedding theme. That is what the rings are for after all! I think some of the products that DePaulo mentions, “Esurance, Re/Max (real state), Quicken Loans, Jack in the Box, AT&T…” might have themes focused on family themes than on “wedding themes.”

[Dana Gerhart]

DePaulo argues that when a major company develops a commercial about their company many of them relay on the idea of marriage, none of these companies think outside of the box they do not have any original ideas. In the article DePaulo states that for example a jewelry ad insinuates that “the moment she’s been waiting for all her life” is a ring. DePaulo expresses how all a woman looks and waits for in life is to have a ring. Those women are not looking for other things such as a higher education, children, or an honorable career such as a doctor or a scientist. I agree with DePaulo, woman in this generation are not sticking to the traditional way such as find a husband get married and have children and be a stay at home mom. Many of the Advertisements insinuate that many women’s number one goal is to find a mate to have a wedding. While watching the television a series of commercials will come one and many of them are based on romance. Where to find the perfect partner on commercials for things like dating websites and even a dove deodorant had a commercial resorting back to finding a mate. I do believe those commercials are using marriage to sell their product, and that there are many women who are looking to find the perfect mate to have the perfect wedding. However, that is not the only thing they are looking for in life. I agree with Alejandra B.Martinez when she stated that “If marriage is been sold to our culture we would have to look back at our childhood and re-watch all the fairytales we watched then.” All throughout childhood the idea of marriage was being sold, the toys children play with such as dolls, the idea of a child playing house. These are all things insinuating that one day these children would soon get married and have a house and a family to their own.

[Lily Aguirre]

In DePaulos article “Why are Advertisers So Stunningly Unoriginal,” she states her argument on how most commercials now have some sort of wedding theme in them. I have to disagree with her stance on the commercials. Her argument is that these people that are advertising are doing it so people that think badly of marriage will look at this civil union in a brighter light. I think the complete opposite of what she is saying. The world use to live in an era where if something was broken they would fix it. Now if something is broken you throw it away and get something new in return is the motto. Life has turned so fast paced and the media has caught on to that. The commercials that I believe are the most viewed are very sexual; even for prime time television. Like DePaulo said, commercials are advertising wedding in products such as real estate and cat food that has not correlation with each other. I see the same thing happening but with different scenarios. You turn on the television and everything is overly sexualized. This is even being shown when you watch the news after commercials. The women that are reporting are usually wearing something revealing like a low cut shirt, or a dress that shows too much leg. The reason this is happening as much as it does today points to the fact that the way people are viewing life is different. Views and morals are changing. It is not important to get married and have kids anymore. Now people are more selfish and are about making themselves successful. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. Women are becoming more independent, but what does this mean for the future of civil unions? Commercials are only a reflection of what is currently going on in society. The life of marriage is definitely not something that is current to today’s views.

[Marisa Valencia]

I agree to certain aspects of DePaulo's argument. I do agree on her suspicions that advertisers prey on the idea that women overly romanticize their wedding day and think that nothing else matters. Women are increasingly becoming more independent. I also agree with Blake Lanser as that surely there is more to life other than marrying rich, sinking a guy, and being a stay at home mother. How lazy does that make women sound? I am slightly insulted. Just because advertisers have run dry on ideas does not mean they can recycle ideas like that. Perhaps those methods might have worked 50 years ago, but times have changed. Women like that still exist, but in fewer numbers. I have to disagree with Depaulo that many advertisements on television have marriage undertones. I would agree with Alejandra B. Martinez in that in actuality, advertisements are focusing on the relationship and family aspects and not just weddings. Sure I see wedding commercials pretty often, but I rarely see commercials dealing with mustard and weddings. I do not think that seeing weddings on television makes me feel insecure about the status of my own relationship. In fact I usually ignore those commercials. If a commercial is unable to catch my attention, I tend to tune out until something catches my fancy. Perhaps I am too young to care about marriage so maybe in a few years I will start looking at them. I also would agree with Lily Aguirre in that many commercials such as Carl's Jr. are overly sexualized and use that to somehow sell us cheeseburgers. I feel like I see more commercials like Carl's Jr. than I see about finding the “perfect ring for the perfect day”. If anything, advertisements have reduced themselves to preying into our hopes of someday finding the perfect one and into selling us that perfect cheeseburger or tire.

[Ariane Towner]

Bella DePaulo a blogger that focuses on writing about singles creates a blog whose title poses the question “Why are Advertisers So Stunningly Unoriginal?” In this blogpost created for Psych Central, DePaulo gives her views on how marriage is so pushed in the world through advertisements for various products, most having no connection to marriage. DePaulo tells how she believes marriage is overly advertised, not because we as Americans are in love with marriage, but because there is an insecurity surrounding the institution of marriage in America. Depaulo brings television series to the attention of the reader by comparing older series like Leave it to Beaver, Lassie, and even MASH to more recent televisions series. She shows that in the older series the plot lines never revolved around a major plot point being the two characters getting married. Marriage being a major plot point in most television series is newer to this generation of television. DePaulo explains that advertisers do not need to use marriage as a way to sell their products and that it would be more beneficial if they came up with different advertising strategies.
DePaulo states interesting and thought-provoking ideas in her blog post about advertisements being revolved around marriage. She gives examples of advertisements ranging from jewelry to cat food using marriage to attempt and sell the public on their product. DePaulo states she found the use of marriage in the jewelry ad, while appropriate, to be conventional and insulting. She felt as though the ad was telling her a woman peaked at marriage and there was nothing else worth achieving in life. Personally, if I were to see a jewelry company advertising their product using a happy couple I would not feel insulted or oppressed. From the article it is easy to tell DePaulo is an independent woman. She feels she does not need a man to feel accomplished. While I agree that women do not need men to feel accomplished, marriage is still an important tradition in for many people. A jewelry company using marriage in their advertisement is marketing towards their audience. People looking to get married are jewelry company’s largest clientele and advertising to them creates a better awareness of their product to their shoppers. Another thought DePaulo brought up was America’s insecurity with marriage and this insecurity being the cause for companies advertising marriage. Marriage in America is not the perfect fantasy it once was. America has increasingly high divorce rates and people fear the marriage equality movements are destroying the fundamentals of marriage. The worry created around marriage no longer being sacred could be the reasoning behind Americans’ insecurity in marriage. While I agree with DePaulo that America has insecurities surrounding marriage and that may be what is causing the rush in advertising to this audience, I do not feel that, as a woman, I should be offended by companies advertising marriage as the peak of a woman’s life. Marriage is something little girls dream of and taking away the importance of that moment in their lives because of feeling it is too conventional is incorrect.