Large Caesar Salad – Email on the Side: MG Siegler, “I Will Check My Phone at Dinner And You Will Deal With It”

MG Siegler’s snarky title frames an ongoing drama in which we are all actors, willing or otherwise; day by day we redefine our relationships and our lives with new technologies. Siegler is a San Francisco-based journalist whose work appears frequently on TechCrunch, an online technology-oriented news source, blog, and information hub. He is a frequent tweeter and a prolific blogger (parislemon.com), and as his article mentions, is never far from his phone.

Read it here: MG Siegler, "I Will Check My Phone At Dinner And You Will Deal With It"

1. Siegler asserts in his first paragraph that dinner hour phone users abound in any restaurant, anywhere. He acknowledges in the next paragraph, however, that he lives in a “Bay Area bubble,” where the general populace is presumably more tech-oriented than in other regions. How does the area where you live compare? Do you expect to see many diners peering at their phones in restaurants, either openly or under the table?
2. Siegler sets up his mother as his “they say.” Is this an effective rhetorical strategy for him? Imagine a different “they say” strategy—what might it be? Might it be more effective? Why or why not?
3. What does the phrase “Dinner 2.0” signify for you? Why? What does the “2.0” refer to?
4. Siegler embraces the new modes of technology-enhanced social interaction, stating that “this is the way the world works now. We’re always connected and always on call. And some of us prefer it that way.” Do you? Write an essay in which you describe your comfort or discomfort with a life “always connected and always on call.” Provide examples from your own experience as a user of technology. and/or as a tech user’s companion, spouse, coworker, family member, etc.

 

Comments

[M Sherman]

I agree with the writer's view that young people growing up with cell phones don't view it as rude to check their phones in almost any social situation. I don't agree, however, that having dinner with your family is the same as hanging out with your friends at a bar. Smartphones are a great convenience, but I'm still not sold at them being necessary all the time without a break. How about conversation based on what's already in your brain? Or even solitary reflection to sort things out?

[A Thompson]

I admit, I've checked my phone at dinner. I will not give more than a passing glance and never at a business dinner or with family. If I am out with friends, I am usually the one that checks her phone the least. I spend almost every Monday night with a couple girlfriends and they both have their iPhones on their laps. And while I find it slightly annoying at times, I understand it. Also, I want to disconnect at night and on the weekends. The Smartphone is great but if I want an hour or two to remove myself from work, I turn it off or put it on vibrate so I am not tempted.

[J LaBuff]

The main thrust of Mr. Siegler's argument--that we should IN GOOD CONSCIENCE embrace the further dilution of our social interactions--would have been more effective if he hadn't constructed a maternal bastion of a by-passed era against which to enshrine his position. Phones are indeed useful to obviate the fact that most occasions for dining out, by their very artificial nature, impose a social obligation that cannot be instantly fulfilled even by the best of friends. Let's check wikipedia until this Cosmo dissipates my obsession with the every day. My only question is how much it pained Mr. Siegler's no doubt otherwise untainted integrity to "admit" having unequaled joy at the game of "phone check" he plays with his companions. Because I suspect he derived even more pleasure from indulging in the spectacle of his poor mother's rural mores.

[Mona Chustz]

I think there's a difference between "fact checking" on your phone, which often adds to the conversation, and "checking out" by playing games or checking emails during dinner. I thought dinner was about conversation...

[weddingsean]

phone technology changed our life quickly.

[Suzy R.]

I do think that checking the phone during social gatherings, like dinner is something that is more and more acceptable. I've definitely done it myself. However, when one text becomes a conversation, then I think it crosses a line. And he is exactly right, when everyone else has their phones out, you feel awkward NOT looking at it. This is a strange type of peer pressure emerging..

[Julia Hall]

I found this interesting as whenever I am out to dinner with my mother, she is always asking me to look something up on my phone for her! I agree with Mona's comment in that there is a difference between fact checking, which can enhance one's dinner interactions, and being rude by checking your email in the middle of a conversation. I think people are so addicted to being connected 24/7 these days that they often don't realize they are checking their phones so often. If a distraction is available, then we will be distracted by it.

[Peter McCullough]

I agree that it is his business whether he checks his phone and that I should not prevent him from doing so. However I am glad I do not have to have dinner with him. I do not use email much to communicate with friends so that I can have time to enjoy socializing with people and making a personal connection.
Maybe it is my advanced age but I do think that everytime you check your phone at dinner you are saying to the person you are with that their company is not compelling or the person is not important enough to be bothered with. Perhaps if the person does not mind, that is Ok, but generally I do mind.

[Andrea Knab]

I think this argument is much more complex than Siegler discusses here. Checking your phone while out to dinner with family is still questionably taboo. Whether or not it should be is for the families to decide, in my opinion. Checking your phone while you're out for drinks with friends doesn't strike me as rude or inconsiderate in the least. However, what if you're on a date? I would be appalled if my date started texting mid-dinner. I very much believe that if someone is checking his or her phone during a conversation with you it is equivalent to yawning. I might yawn in front of my good friends or family, excuse myself and hope they don't take it as a sign of boredom. I would never yawn during a serious conversation, a work dinner, or a date. I think cell phone etiquette should follow the same rules.

[Kimi]

It all boils down to etiquette. Ultimately, how one chooses to exercise etiquette is up to them. While I do sometimes wish the Phone Police would make an appearance in annoying situations (like when people should just go get a room with their phone already), people are going to do what they are going to do. I acknowledge that the world is indeed changing. Great. Fine. However, personally, I choose not to be obsessed with my phone. A lot of it depends on age and life situations, etc. As a mom of twin toddlers, when I'm out to dinner with them, I'm too damn busy to be bothered with checking my phone. And when I'm out to dinner with friends (when I'm lucky enough to find personal time like that these days!), I'm thrilled to be able to spend time with *them* and nurture those live-and-in-person connections. If I wanted to hang out with my phone, I'd stay home.

[HDP]

As a late Millennial kid, I, too, am guily of checking my phone during meals. But should I really feel guily? As the only person in my family to have a smartphone, I am generally asked to "look it up!" over contraversial debates such as; this song was realeased in 1994; no it wasn't, it was 1996. I can finish the argument with a simple app that we all rely on; google.
I enjoy the notation, "Dinner 2.0" because we have the ability to look up this information at our finger tips. Thus, I agree with Siegler that I should not be shunned or ashamed of other uses at the table. Especially if it saves a family fued ;)

[JS]

It's clear that Siegler, as are many who are guilty of checking their phones in the midst of social situations, thinks his actions benefit the conversation, when his obsessive text and email checking has likely resulted in more than a few people feeling that they are less important than how many freaking bushels of corn he managed to acquire on Farmville. And, I'm sure this genius believes that sending updates to his bros about how many skirts are at the bar refilling their kiwi-tinis is contributing to the dinner conversation, but alas, no one cares and the bottom line is that IT'S RUDE to the people who were unfortunate enough to go out with this guy in person.

[Katie I]

"This is the way the world works now." 'Tis true. I've definitely fallen victim to answering e-mails and texts during dinner, but always preface that it will only take a minute. That minute gives whoever I'm at dinner with a guilt-free glance at their own phone for similar messages and e-mails. Take that, social norms. I'm not proud of it, but there it is. This IS how the world works now.

[Jude]

UGH! I am a mom, and therefore, feel for your mother. The use of mobile phones and other electronic devices during something as intimate as a shared meal is a disturbing notion to me and not doubt considered bad manners by mothers all over the world. Yes, it is happening everywhere. I don't find that argument enough to convince me to "Get with the program". That's one band wagon I choose not to get on. You want to have your phone join you for dinner and I don't. I can live with that. What I don't appreciate, however, is your insensitive intolerant attitude that for anyone who does not share your point of view best get out of the way. Now that's bad manners!

[Mekedem]

I agre with the story because phones in the diner table can start a conversion. Some people look at each other face and dont say nothing but if you got a phone you can look up things to talk about. For example who won the basketball game. Also if is more the 2 people in the table and you dont want to join the conversion you can just be on your phone.

[jaylon]

I agree to this because no matter where you go people are goin to use their phones. Everytime I go out 2 eat no matter where its at, people be on their phones,texting Internet,e-mail ect.When Im out to eat I do all these things too.

[sasha]

I agree with the writer's view because, a lot of people do sit around the dinner table or sit at restaurants and use their cell phones. I do however disagree with using your cell phones at the table when your sitting with family. Being at dinner with friends is differnet from being with family, because friends are most likely to pull there phones out and start texting or tweeting & ect. , when your with family its suppose to spark a conversation with eachother, so there's no use for phones.

[wai hei]

i agree that it is more and more peolpe use their mobile in anytime. in my country, mobile is a most important thing that you can't with out. my mother always say did you bring your keys, money, and your mobile. it seems that moblie is one of our life. however, Siegler tola about "they say"
it might be the older age people. it was because they grow up with out mobile. it can show us the different between he and his mother. moreover, he was write about the dinner2.0. it look like a software. it has been update. that we will not have a same mode than before.
but the way, i don't like mobile. because it make me to be a easy person. why? because people call you, you need to answer. if you don't, they will say why you don't answer. it seems like i need to answer your phone. don't you think about why should i listen to you, and why you can call me anytime for anything!

[Diane]

I agree with the moral of the story. because tecnolgy has taken over some much of our daily lives and people have made cel phones such a part of their daily routine,that they have forgetten what it is to sit down at the dinner table together as a family and just talk about your day and have some simple comunation with one another. I also blame the marketing aspect of it for the outragious tools they use to pull the people in!. sometimes when my mind wonders about these things like cell phone use I start to think that they have become to much of a way of life for most people. I am so thankfull that I was brought into this world so much earlier in life.

[Nate]

I disagree because I was brought up the old way.When I go out to dinner with my family,freinds or someone I'm dating I leave my phone in my truck.I think it's rude for someone your trying to have a conversation with to keep checking their phone or even talking on it.It tells me that person is not fully here for me and I'll just get up pay the check and leave thats me.And if the world is gunna be like this all the time I might be the one who is still the old way.

[jose]

I agree with the writer because there are many people who eat and have there phones out. I don't agree with using your phone while you eat dinner with your family because it could be disturbing to others while they are trying to have a discussion. My family doesn't really care if i use my phone or not because they be using there's sometime as well.

[jacqueline]

I agree with this is the way the world work now, but I disagree because is rude when you go out with somebody to dinner and when you start to use your phone for no reason, you reflect you don't feel comfortable or you are bored with your company, or you no like the place you when or the food. Its better before you going in; check your messages or if you no need to use your phone turn off and enjoy the dinner together and next time you can go out again with the same friends or more.

[Eddie]

I agree because everyone now a day checks their phone during dinner. There's a time and place for someone to use their phone. i wont use my phone if I'm eating dinner with my parents but if I'm with my friends or my family members around my age i don't see why not..

[zahra]

I agree with writer .we all know that technology is growing so fast.
and every body is useing that.however, it is not a big deal if some one use his/her phone at the resturan. people go to restaurant to have conversation to each other. But some times the title of that coversation is not interesting for you. Therefore, you have to resort to your phone.

[Evangeline]

I agree with the writer's said young people growing up with cell phones because I have a cell phone since i was 13, although at that time is not popular at all, i am growing up with it. i cant live without it. Right now cell phone have many apps. And some apps can text with other people who are not live with same country as you. So that i always texting with my friend and i always check my cell phone.